Laisse-les mijoter, or, the phoenix rising from the ashes

I'll be posting more pictures of my Fall 2011 collection next week (although you can see it in its entirety - so far - here), but for now, I wanted to focus on two cards from this collection.

Long-time readers of this blog (or those who have perused the archives) might remember the Joyeux Noel card that I attempted to make in 2008. For obvious reasons, I was not very happy with the result and never put it up on Etsy. Every year, I put the "Joyeux Noel with shoes" idea on my list of card ideas, hoping to turn it into a reality. This year, I finally did.

Rather than trying to do the whole fireplace and shoes deal, I thought I would just focus on the shoes instead. I looked up little girls' shoes online and tried my best to imitate them. I knew a good font that I could use to cut out the greeting (a technology that I didn't have in 2008). My husband suggested the shape of the presents. And voici! A successful redesign was born.

This card is also the product of an idea that originated in 2008. I was working at a performing rights (music) society and the idea came into my head to create a Hanukkah card with musical notes functioning as the candles on the menorah. Unfortunately I also didn't have the technology then to make this into a reality, and it stayed on my card ideas list every year - until this year, when I was finally able to conceptualize it.

I can't tell you how happy I am to finally have nailed these cards, to have them down "in print", so to say. Some might say that these cards illustrate the benefit of letting ideas simmer for a while until you're ready to work with them, and I don't disagree. But I can tell you the main reason why I'm so happy about these cards.

You see, 2008 - and particularly September-December of that year - was a very difficult year for me. It marked the end of my first year of law school and the beginning of my second year. At the start of my second year, I interviewed at approximately 20 different law firms for summer jobs, the mantra being that the summer job you got would be translated into a permanent job upon graduation. So, yes, I interviewed with 20 firms. I received ZERO callbacks for a second interview. Also, in spite of my good grades and strong writing skills, I did not get onto any law journals (and people who had worse grades and writing skills did). I was so upset, angry, and ashamed. I didn't even want to go to class. I didn't want to see my smug classmates who got summer jobs and law review positions, and I didn't want to see them looking down their noses at me. I was so depressed. I was crying almost every day, if not every day. I remember one afternoon, looking at my law textbooks and knowing I had to read it, and then turning away and cutting an octopus from my papers (which would later turn out to be my Octopus birthday card). (It was this time when I started to research alternative careers.) To add insult to injury, my wholesaler sadly informed me, "your holiday cards are very cute but we are already bought out for holiday."

I tried to create new designs during this time. Although I succeeded with a few, the majority of my ideas fell flat. I tried to make a card for the Italian Feast of the Seven fishes - failed. (although I did redesign it the next year - here) I tried to make a card for Joyeux Noel - failed. I tried to create a musical Hanukkah card - failed.

I don't think I made the connection between my depression and my inability to create back then, but it is glaringly obvious looking back on it. As you know, things eventually got better. It took a while, but my business is doing fairly well now and I am happily married. I still have a lot of debt from law school and I'm not practicing law, and I still feel angry occasionally at the system that cheated me, but nothing is as bleak or hopeless as things seemed in that horrible fall of 2008. That's why I am so happy to have finally conceptualized these cards. They were born out of despair, but their creation, for me, is the return of hope, the "getting back up", so to say, the phoenix rising from the ashes.